Monday, December 6, 2010

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and The Random 12/6

The Good:
We had a pretty lovely Thanksgiving. There was no family drama and it was a nice day. I let go of the desire to try to contribute and I just showed up.
I was able to help a friend finish her film project.
I found a sublet in Los Angeles for January and I'm really excited about it.
I like it when coincidences seem to lead me to meaning in the world.
I managed to not over-react about a couple things.
Because I lost my voice, I can't yell at anyone or raise my voice and in the last few days, it has made me realize I probably don't need to do so nearly as often as I do.
It has forced me to use fewer words and to value silence.
I started and finished writing an entire play in five days.
My questioning of in law family dynamics actually led to a conversation for once and maybe it will result in better communication next time.
I was picked to be on a jury and it was a really fascinating experience.
I didn't lose my voice until the trial was over.
I used my voice to make really good points in the jury room and people actually listened to me.
I was able to be a real force of reason and fairness and stuck to my principles.

The Bad:
I got sick, then I got well, then I got really sick again and I have not had a voice since Thursday night.
I had a major disappointment this week and I'm trying very hard not to let it get to me, but it is.
I can't do what I need to do because I am so sick.
Staying up all night coughing and throwing up is no fun.
I had to miss out on a couple social events because of illness.
I had started to clean before I got sick but had to stop.

The Ugly: looking in the mirror at the pale sick person!

The Random:
When I first started losing my voice, Isabella said "Stop that, Mommy, stop talking like that."
I whispered to her that I had lost my voice and she put her hand on her throat, balled it up into a fist and then put it over my throat.
"here you go, Mommy, you can use my voice until yours gets better."
When that didn't work, she said "Try to laugh, Mommy, maybe that will help."
She has been so cute and so sympathetic over the past few days.

I have begun to wonder why everyone is so quiet out there. I know people read this but I have very few comments. I hope people are encouraged to let me know they are reading, even if the comments are private or anonymous.

3 comments:

Julie W said...

I did.
I don't respond to your G/B/R posts, though, because they're very vague. I don't want to pry about salient details, because perhaps you are keeping a record of these kinds of things just for yourself.
I keep a blog and I never get comments. It would be nice. But then again, I rarely post anymore as I spend a lot of time bitching there and nothing else. It serves that purpose for me, but I cannot imagine it is very good reading for others, even if they wanted to read it just to keep up with my life. It is a one-sided view of that life, not much more.
Still, it's nice to be able to talk through what you're mad about with others. But, I reckon that's kind of scary with someone who sounds as pissy as I do on that blog.

Okay, 3 comments. :)

VanessaMRR said...

Thanks, Julie. I have not completely decided what good, bad and random is yet- but your comment is helpful in the fact that the vagueness is not great for readers- I had not thought that through.

Contra Yogini said...

I,personally, do not mind the vagueness at all. I don't comment only b/c I have a deep sense of satisfaction upon reading your blogs and there is really nothing more to add! If you weren't so comprehensive and emotive.... ;) xo